The Christian Adult Child

Alcoholism, dysfunction and emotionally irresponsible parents robs children of many of their rights.

The need to feel safe, to be seen, to be heard, consistency, emotional support, stability, freedom to fail safely, to feel freely and to dream.

ACAs may find it “hard to have fun”, I am certainly one of those people. I realized, “having fun” wasn’t on the menu when I was a kid. Having fun brought no sort of safety when I was trying to just emotionally make it from day to day. So I left it somewhere in Kindergarten on a playground and took upon the task of surviving – which cost me my ability to dream.

To dream and to desire is to hope beyond current circumstances. The helpless perpetuations of living with an alcoholic distort what true hope means. As a child I was always truly hoping that maybe my father would show up sober or hoping he wouldn’t show up drunk – to my concerts, games, recitals or birthdays. In the midst of this – my imagination was only used to fantasize about a day when he would show up for me. That type of ‘magical thinking’ certainly got me into interrelationship struggles when I became an adult looking for connection. Below is a great video on this that inspired these thoughts.

Often, I saw a person and their “potential”, not their current behaviors, words and actions that were inconsistent. During recovery and healing, by the grace of God my imagination and ability to dream and desire is coming back to life. I imagined going back into time and space to the place in Kindergarten to retrieve my imagination, because it belongs to me, and I need it now for a vibrant life. Upon reflecting on all of this, I wrote a short poem on desire and dreaming. I hope you enjoy it.

Take care and remember, you are a safe, loved, chosen child in God. God can and will restore everything lost. We have the chance to be a child for the first time in Him.